NO FAT CHICKS!

Can you believe it?? Fat chicks are on the loose and in your neighborhood!! Lock your doors and cover your windows! And whatever you do... DO NOT look directly at a fat chick, you will spontaneously combust!!!  

Sounds silly, right? However, the “No Fat Chicks” mindset is still acceptable in 21st century America. I mean, they even have t-shirts that say this!  When every other minority group seems to be out of bounds to poke fun at, fat people... wait..wait... let me amend that... fat WOMEN are still being made fun of in most movies, tv shows, songs and most definitely on social media. Men who are heavy are just big guys, but women who are overweight are the butt (excuse the pun) of jokes and nasty comments. 

We have come to a point in our evolution of consciousness that we understand that it is no longer acceptable to make fun of other races, religions, sexes, sexual preferences, abilities and disabilities, but somehow we’ve passed by heavy women when doling out understanding. 

We still feel it is ok to represent big girls in the media as if they should apologize for themselves. How could they leave the house looking like THAT?! We are told to hide our bodies in every way we can and god forbid, don’t think you look good, cuz if you do and emit any kind of positive self confidence despite your size, someone will sense that self confidence like a shark senses fear and will immediately go for the jugular and cut you down to size. A smaller size. Their size. 

I know I used to feel this vibe when I was a bigger girl weighing 150 lbs by the time I was in middle school, 180 in high school, about 200 in college and it just went up from there till I was 300 lbs. after I gave birth to my second daughter. Check out how I lost 125 lbs. here.  So, needless to say I had plenty of opportunities to feel that vibe. 

I was the Burger King drive thru girl for my first real job at 15, boys would come to the window quite often flirting with me as I took their money and handed them their food.  It was great for my self esteem!  Until they’d come inside, see me from the waist down and turn around and walk right back out. Not to mention the boys who considered me undateable because of my size in high school.  The first real boyfriend I had told me I’d have to lose weight if was going to marry me. Funny thing is his wife is heavier than I was and he has a daughter who is a big girl. Karma, it is a bitch! 

 I remember once I was in a clothing store in a mall with my boyfriend who would soon become my husband, looking around browsing when a tiny, size -3 sales girl  came up to me and said, “Ummm... we don’t have YOUR size here!” And then another time I was walking down the street and someone yelled, “Fatso!” out a window at me. Oh I could go on and on this is so much fun reminiscing! My point is, I have many stories to tell.  As does any person who has been heavy for any length of time. Why? Because fat-ism is alive and well in America.

We see being overweight as wearing your weakness on your sleeve for everyone to see. And because all of us have weaknesses our ego is very quick to judge and point out the weaknesses in others so we don’t really have to deal with our own shortcomings. Besides, we like to judge. We’re built to judge when we live from our ego, from that place of ‘us and them’...of separateness.

So, it’s easy to see the speck in your brother’s eye or the extra weight on your sister’s ass and not see the log in your own eye or your own weakness and shortcoming... or your own muffin top.  

And yes being overweight is a weakness. It is a sign that something is out of whack.  But not always. Because maybe that large person you are judging for eating that ice cream cone has been working hard to change their habits and is treating themselves for the first time in months. Or that girl who is wearing a skirt that might be a bit too small maybe is pumped up because she has been busting butt at the gym and she FEELS like she looks wonderful!  What business is it of yours? 

Some people are heavier and very fit! Skinny does not equal fit and healthy, just as overweight does not equal lazy and out of shape.  

Yoga Journal came under fire recently for featuring a story entitled “Loving Your Curves.” Yet, the whole article was filled with tips on how to HIDE your curves in yoga clothes! What?? With questions like, “How do I hide my butt dimples?”or "How do I deal with my thicker thighs in my yoga clothes?” the article was insulting.  How is that about loving your curves?? Not to mention that the article followed a photo spread with Alex Baldwin’s yoga teaching wife doing yoga poses in 4 inch heels! Nice! Talk about a mixed message!

Another mixed message is how the culture says it values health and fitness, but there is a McDs on every street corner. We are bombarded and enticed constantly by advertising.  Foods are being created that are designed to make people eat till they bust, but we judge people for doing so.  Want a healthy lunch? Be prepared to shell out $10 at least, but you can get a burger, fries and a drink for less than $5. It’s insanity really!

But, this is par for the course and brings me to my final point: Fat people are everywhere!  Most people have heavy people in their lives that they love. Maybe it’s their mama, or their favorite auntie or sister. But, the thing is most people love someone of size. We see them as the people they are... people like us with shortcomings, yes, but with value and gifts to give. So, why is that so hard to see those things when we look at strangers? 

I remember when I was teaching and a student told me I was fat.  I asked them if I would be a better teacher if I was skinnier or if I were bigger?   Would I be a better hugger or more loving? Would they love me more?  No, no, no. None of those things would change with my size.  They would still love me the same.  

People who carry extra pounds have feelings just like you do.  Sometimes people see those extra pounds and feel like that extra padding makes the person impervious to the ugly words or stares some people make in their haste to judge and make themselves feel superior and therefore better in their own imperfection.

Can’t we all agree it’s time to give big girls a break and stop the No Fat Chicks brigade? 

If we all wore our issues on the outside and weren’t able to hide them as many of us do, maybe we’d find more understanding for those who don’t have that luxury.  We need to see that it is our imperfections that bind us all together.  

When we look at others, how different would our hearts feel if we saw them as people just like us, trying the best they can, bringing the gifts they have, living their lives, seeking love like we all do.  

It’s simple really. Remember the Golden Rule we all learned as children? When we live from that place of treating other people the way we want to be treated, we can see ourselves in each other more easily. And then understanding can flow. Only good can come of that, for sure and truly things can be golden!